Argonath RPG Police Department

General => General Discussion => Topic started by: Jcstodds on October 07, 2009, 17:33:36 pm

Title: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Jcstodds on October 07, 2009, 17:33:36 pm
  Didn't know if there is this topic already. Ah well.

Seen/ heard/ watched any cops that made you piss yourself?

POST YOUR COP JOKES/ PICS HERE!:


(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/epic-fail-suspect-drawing-fail.jpg)
(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/epic-fail-cow-cop-fail.jpg)
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Ben Samiir on October 07, 2009, 18:09:06 pm
Lol. Well hopefully county Officers will not rape cows..
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Alan Demarest on October 07, 2009, 18:16:07 pm
*Coughs hard* It aint allowed? *Cough* I would never do such a thing *Cough*
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Mac_Cabrazi on October 07, 2009, 21:26:18 pm
raping cows?  :conf: :conf: dude thats just wrong
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: RoryAnstruther on October 07, 2009, 22:54:56 pm
Okay, damnit I'll be the first to have the guts to tell the Captain - Wrong section!! lol

Just playing around.. Raping cows.. That's a new one.

I got some things around here, I'll try to dig them up. Here's one for now:

(http://img99.imageshack.us/img99/6982/asomehabits.jpg)
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: jemerson on October 07, 2009, 23:30:18 pm
lmao!
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Frederick on October 08, 2009, 00:01:00 am
Oh gosh, the one Rory posted really had me going.  :lol:
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Pepper on October 08, 2009, 01:06:58 am
criminals keep getting stupider, lemme try to find an article abvout two people trying to rob a police station.
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: RoryAnstruther on October 08, 2009, 02:58:12 am
criminals keep getting stupider, lemme try to find an article abvout two people trying to rob a police station.

You mean "Criminals keep getting more stupid," right? :D
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: jemerson on October 08, 2009, 03:05:31 am
GrAmMeR NaZi! I'm try that next time actually lol, usually not in a situation like that lol
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Shawn Edwards on October 08, 2009, 04:12:02 am
(http://www.dirtybutton.com/media/db977-cop-hides-behind-this-sign.jpg)

(http://i207.photobucket.com/albums/bb80/ddyerfamily/funny/strafzettel.jpg)

(http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e335/tonyb2001ca/opinion.jpg)

(http://www.foundshit.com/pictures/cars/police-carpool.jpg)

Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: RoryAnstruther on October 08, 2009, 05:22:49 am
(http://www.foundshit.com/pictures/cars/police-carpool.jpg)

That's my favorite one, L O L
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Chief J. Schappell on October 08, 2009, 06:56:43 am
Okay, damnit I'll be the first to have the guts to tell the Captain - Wrong section!! lol

Just playing around.. Raping cows.. That's a new one.

I got some things around here, I'll try to dig them up. Here's one for now:

(http://img99.imageshack.us/img99/6982/asomehabits.jpg)
ROFLMAO!
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Frederick on October 08, 2009, 12:18:26 pm
The ones with the cops sitting in the trunk of the police cruiser is just :lol:
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Jcstodds on October 08, 2009, 14:09:45 pm
I was just reminded of this vid I found in about 2004 - quick search on youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yioHCL7uKYs

It is BRILLIANT XD
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Larry "Pixy" Faulke on October 10, 2009, 03:45:47 am
What we do when a mission fails

(http://i37.tinypic.com/309h2j4.jpg)
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Shawn Edwards on October 10, 2009, 05:55:43 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5TPSg2l2So&feature=related
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Ben Samiir on October 10, 2009, 10:09:21 am
This cop comes in your calls to show how danger guns are in childs hands....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxWWJaTEdD0 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxWWJaTEdD0)
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Frederick on October 10, 2009, 13:21:23 pm
I remember the videos Samiir and Jcs posted from a while back as well.  Although, the one where the officer shoots himself in the foot, if I remember correctly, it was just a blank shot.

As for Shawn's video, that take down was awesome!  :D
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Alsatian on October 10, 2009, 13:32:42 pm
Okay, damnit I'll be the first to have the guts to tell the Captain - Wrong section!! lol

Just playing around.. Raping cows.. That's a new one.

I got some things around here, I'll try to dig them up. Here's one for now:

(http://img99.imageshack.us/img99/6982/asomehabits.jpg)

I lol'd quite loud!  :lol:
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Mac_Cabrazi on October 10, 2009, 20:07:31 pm
if u do wat these 3 guys do u are probably the coolest and dumbest cops ever
this is from teh movie Superbad the kid wit glasses is Mclovin and the two other cops are just two other cops
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nyNMkgvVCS4
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: JDC on October 11, 2009, 00:41:21 am
Okay, damnit I'll be the first to have the guts to tell the Captain - Wrong section!! lol

Just playing around.. Raping cows.. That's a new one.

I got some things around here, I'll try to dig them up. Here's one for now:

(http://img99.imageshack.us/img99/6982/asomehabits.jpg)

I lol'd so hard xD
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Jcstodds on October 11, 2009, 01:04:02 am
  :( I really don't get the 'Some habits' one!
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Billy_Duke on October 11, 2009, 02:42:01 am
(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/fb_pbn.jpg?w=487&h=324)

and what is sad is that i live in evansville
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Chief J. Schappell on October 11, 2009, 03:13:35 am
(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/fb_pbn.jpg?w=487&h=324)

and what is sad is that i live in evansville

"2nd time in 2006" in the bottom right side...
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Billy_Duke on October 11, 2009, 03:21:51 am
Yeah,the city police here blow but the sheriff office will pwn your ass if you do sumthin that breaks a law :weed:
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Cruel Cooking Chef Curry Alterlis on October 11, 2009, 10:34:29 am
  :( I really don't get the 'Some habits' one!

You don't know Marco Polo?! D:
Wikipedia!

These pics/vids is real funny  :rofl:
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Jcstodds on October 17, 2009, 02:00:42 am
I was in a large clothes store today and I heard something brilliant. I was the only one who laughed out loud in the queue:

"Staff announcement: Will a janitor please report to the men's department on the 1st floor. Code 3. "  :lol:
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: SKenney on October 17, 2009, 02:12:57 am
I was in a large clothes store today and I heard something brilliant. I was the only one who laughed out loud in the queue:

"Staff announcement: Will a janitor please report to the men's department on the 1st floor. Code 3. "  :lol:

lol thats epic!
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Cruel Cooking Chef Curry Alterlis on October 17, 2009, 03:01:54 am
I was in a large clothes store today and I heard something brilliant. I was the only one who laughed out loud in the queue:

"Staff announcement: Will a janitor please report to the men's department on the 1st floor. Code 3. "  :lol:

She/He maybe used to be dispatcher in PD  :lol:
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Frederick on October 17, 2009, 03:49:41 am
I was in a large clothes store today and I heard something brilliant. I was the only one who laughed out loud in the queue:

"Staff announcement: Will a janitor please report to the men's department on the 1st floor. Code 3. "  :lol:


I'd be laughing so hard if I was there.  :lol:
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Jcstodds on October 17, 2009, 11:48:40 am
  I should have gone to investigate what emergency it was, or just to see the presumably Mexican janitor running through the crowd to get there!
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Shawn Edwards on October 26, 2009, 01:21:05 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyHMbHHtArE&feature=related

 :rofl:
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: [R*]Drix on October 26, 2009, 07:12:06 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyHMbHHtArE&feature=related

 :rofl:

I saw it rofl, why does americans hate cops so much, here on my country, were scared off them cant even flame them. :omg:
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: jemerson on October 26, 2009, 12:56:02 pm
Its a long story as to why but that trooper was actually fired.
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Shawn Edwards on October 26, 2009, 13:11:27 pm
I have all day. Why was he fired? I didn't see him do anything wrong lol?
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: jemerson on October 26, 2009, 13:19:00 pm
He actually provoked the driver before you see this section of the video. He had received complaints that he was too rude and not understanding. So he cut this video up so he looked patient and nice. I will try to find the link where I read this.
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: [R*]Austin on October 26, 2009, 15:56:25 pm
I was in a large clothes store today and I heard something brilliant. I was the only one who laughed out loud in the queue:

"Staff announcement: Will a janitor please report to the men's department on the 1st floor. Code 3. "  :lol:


Proceed with sirens on!
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: RoryAnstruther on October 26, 2009, 16:09:06 pm
He actually provoked the driver before you see this section of the video. He had received complaints that he was too rude and not understanding. So he cut this video up so he looked patient and nice. I will try to find the link where I read this.

I remember watching this clip on G4tv, the show stated he wasn't fired, but had charges on him that eventually were dropped.
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: jemerson on October 26, 2009, 16:10:14 pm
Ah, I will look later. Funny video non-the-less. Love your avatar btw lol
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: RoryAnstruther on October 26, 2009, 16:45:20 pm
Ah, I will look later. Funny video non-the-less. Love your avatar btw lol

Thanks, I was watching super troopers last night because the power was out (on my laptop), and when the scene where John O'Hagan is talking to Bruce Grady in Grady's office, O'Hagan says "Now you scratch my back or you're going to get my size 12 boot up your ass" - Saw his face and was like "PERFECT!"

I've been thinking about role playing a character like O'Hagan in Argonath as well, the more I watch Super Troopers the more I see myself with O'Hagan's personality in real life.
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Janar on November 02, 2009, 15:08:48 pm
Quote
Reminder to Giac... If you promote a cop ass to SAPD Member List.

That looked kinda funny.

EDIT: Quote system messed up :S
Check it there: http://arpd.argonathrpg.com/forum/index.php?topic=7012.msg47817#msg47817 (http://arpd.argonathrpg.com/forum/index.php?topic=7012.msg47817#msg47817)
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: [R*]Austin on November 02, 2009, 15:44:55 pm
Quote
Reminder to Giac... If you promote a cop ass to SAPD Member List.

That looked kinda funny.

EDIT: Quote system messed up :S
Check it there: http://arpd.argonathrpg.com/forum/index.php?topic=7012.msg47817#msg47817 (http://arpd.argonathrpg.com/forum/index.php?topic=7012.msg47817#msg47817)

omg... Damn, supposed to be "add", "s" is next to the "d"...  :gandalf:
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: jemerson on November 02, 2009, 15:47:32 pm
Saw that on his application, wanted to reply but I could'nt  :D
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Atunzuman on November 03, 2009, 03:25:30 am
(http://img.moronail.net/img/2/7/227.jpg) (http://rlv.zcache.com/kick_your_ass_and_get_away_with_it_card-p137966044001535132qi0i_400.jpg)
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: RBin_Alterlis on November 08, 2009, 18:52:43 pm
(http://www.thisisjuststupid.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/image/police-fail.jpg)  (http://mikeeshaq.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/police-car-fail2.jpg)
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: jemerson on November 09, 2009, 11:30:39 am
You may laugh at the above but watching dvd's and playing solataire is a daily occurence.
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: [R*]Austin on November 11, 2009, 16:20:37 pm
(http://mikeeshaq.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/police-car-fail2.jpg)

Dial 911...
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Cruel Cooking Chef Curry Alterlis on November 11, 2009, 18:55:04 pm
(http://img.moronail.net/img/2/7/227.jpg)

lolcat xD

(http://www.thisisjuststupid.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/image/police-fail.jpg)

Cop can get bored sometime
They risk their life, serving public, enforcing law
Let them relax  :roll:
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Thomas_Crof on November 12, 2009, 21:23:32 pm
(http://www.mopo.ca/uploaded_images/swat-764703.jpg)
Left-bottom: Pretty cool. When I put my hand like this, I can't see my gun.
Center-bottom: I'm crushing your head.
Right-bottom: Do that kick, like Ryu in *Street Fighter.*
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Janar on November 12, 2009, 21:45:24 pm
Last 3 pics' text was hard to read.
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Thomas_Crof on November 12, 2009, 21:59:12 pm
Left-bottom: Pretty cool. When I put my hand like this, I can't see my gun.
Center-bottom: I'm crushing your head.
Right-bottom: Do that kick, like Ryu in *Street Fighter.*
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Hidduh on November 13, 2009, 03:27:24 am
(http://www.funnysnaps.com/shutup.jpg)
D:
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: jemerson on November 13, 2009, 04:01:09 am
Chief Celeborn doing speed enforcement with his Hunter
(http://www.funnysnaps.com/speedenforcement.jpg)
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Pepper on November 13, 2009, 04:21:30 am
Chief Celeborn doing speed enforcement with his Hunter
(http://www.funnysnaps.com/speedenforcement.jpg)
Lol  :rofl:
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Shawn Edwards on November 13, 2009, 18:43:02 pm
Read this, you will  :lol:..............

Speeding
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, may I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.

Captain: Whose car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card. The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.

Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Really? Ain't that something? And I'll bet the lying sucker told you I was speeding, too ...


Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Shawn Edwards on November 13, 2009, 18:45:34 pm
Did she threaten to kill you?
One day, an immigrant from Poland entered a New York City Police Precinct to report that his American wife was planning to kill him.

The police officer on duty was intrigued by this, and he asked, "How sure are you that she is gonna kill you? Did she threaten to kill you?"

"No," replied the nervous immigrant.

"Did you hear her tell someone else that she's gonna kill you?"
"No."

"Did someone tell you that your wife is gonna kill you?"
"No."

"Then why did you think she's gonna kill you?" asked the exasperated police officer.

"Because I found bottle on dresser and I think she gonna poison me!" He handed the police officer the suspect bottle.

The police officer took one look at the label on the bottle and started to laugh out loud.

The immigrant became indignant and said, "What so funny? Can't you see the label on bottle said 'Polish Remover'?"




Circle Flies
After pulling a farmer over for speeding, a state trooper started to lecture him about his speed, pompously implying that the farmer didn't know any better and trying to make him feel as uncomfortable as possible. He finally started writing out the ticket, but had to keep swatting at some flies buzzing around his head.

The farmer said, "Having some problems with circle flies there are ya?"

The trooper paused to take another swat and said, "Well, yes, if that's what they are. I've never heard of circle flies."

The farmer was pleased to enlighten the cop. "Circle flies are common on farms. They're called circle flies because you almost always find them circling the back end of a horse."

The trooper continues writing for a moment, then says," Hey, are you trying to call me a horse's behind?"

"Oh no, officer." The farmer replies. "I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers for that."

"That's a good thing," the officer says rudely, then goes back to writing the ticket.

After a long pause, the farmer added, "Hard to fool them flies, though."





I am at school dieing laughing........ :rofl:


Two Italian guys are driving through Texas ...
Two Italian guys are driving through Texas when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick.

The driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver says, "Why'd you do that?

The trooper says, "You're in Texas, son. When I pull you over, you'll have your license ready."

Driver says, "I'm sorry, officer, I'm not from around here."

The trooper runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean. He gives the guy his license back and walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls his window down, and the trooper smacks him with the nightstick.

The passenger says, "What'd you do that for?"

The cop says, "Just making your wishes come true." The passenger says, "Huh?"

The cop says, "I know that two miles down the road you're gonna say, 'I wish that guy would've tried that crap with me!


Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Janar on November 13, 2009, 19:03:04 pm
Read this, you will  :lol:..............

Speeding
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, may I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.

Captain: Whose car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card. The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.

Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Really? Ain't that something? And I'll bet the lying sucker told you I was speeding, too ...

Hahahahaha!!!  :lol: Did this happen on Argo?
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Travis Colt on November 13, 2009, 20:55:41 pm
Got a Ingame one..

(http://i487.photobucket.com/albums/rr233/Caltson/sa-mp-031.png)

Didn't knew JDC was such a.. Love cop?
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Janar on November 13, 2009, 21:16:05 pm
It is since RS3 still, ALS using channel 999 :D
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Frederick on November 13, 2009, 22:25:54 pm
Shawn, the original joke is actually where it's a female.  Also, here's the video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AnvIvLrCoI) if anyone's interested.
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Jaka. on November 13, 2009, 22:32:33 pm
Slovenija 12.november.2009

Police officer stops a driver:

Police: Can i see your license please

Drunk man: sure ((shows him 3 licenses))

Police: why you have 3 licenses?

Drunk man: because i was told the 2 arent waild so i stole another one

Police: what about car?

Drunk man: from naber.

Police: i wanna call him, so i can prove you didnt steal the car

Drunk man: you do not understand officer. i took the car whithout asking but ill give it back, yust i dont know when.

Police: thats a crime you are comming whith me!

Drunk man: Wait lemme drive this car back to naber

than the drunk man escaped and sadly did suecide
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Frederick on November 14, 2009, 00:04:03 am
Slovenija 12.november.2009

Police officer stops a driver:

Police: Can i see your license please

Drunk man: sure ((shows him 3 licenses))

Police: why you have 3 licenses?

Drunk man: because i was told the 2 arent waild so i stole another one

Police: what about car?

Drunk man: from naber.

Police: i wanna call him, so i can prove you didnt steal the car

Drunk man: you do not understand officer. i took the car whithout asking but ill give it back, yust i dont know when.

Police: thats a crime you are comming whith me!

Drunk man: Wait lemme drive this car back to naber

than the drunk man escaped and sadly did suecide

I'm sorry to point this out, but I really didn't see anything funny in that.
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: jemerson on November 14, 2009, 00:22:31 am
I'm sorry to point this out, but I really didn't see anything funny in that.
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Jaka. on November 14, 2009, 06:03:18 am
yep its like a black humor  ;)
let me ask you....

show a cop 3 licenses
 tell him you stold the car

thats the weirdest thing ever hapend in SLO thats why i posted it, i dont find it funny too...
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Thomas_Crof on November 14, 2009, 08:57:59 am
Read this, you will  :lol:..............

Speeding
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, may I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.

Captain: Whose car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card. The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.

Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Really? Ain't that something? And I'll bet the lying sucker told you I was speeding, too ...
That really made me laugh :D

thats the weirdest thing ever hapend in SLO thats why i posted it, i dont find it funny too...
Look at the title of this topic..


Ps. Jake, u stol mai pictar!
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Janar on November 14, 2009, 09:48:24 am
Ps. Jake, u stol mai pictar!

These are different pics...
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Jaka. on November 14, 2009, 10:09:51 am
(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/police-fail.jpg) - this officer is havy armed :O

(http://www.failfunnies.com/7/images/riot-control-fail.jpg)
- you ruined mine garden!!  :rofl:

(http://www.weirdthings.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/police-install-the-latest-car-phone-technology.jpg)
Cadet: Sir! the phone yust crashed in me!
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: RoryAnstruther on November 14, 2009, 11:08:55 am
Real Life Situation that happened with me and an officer I was with, who we will call "Officer"

Me: *holding radar gun* 46.
Officer: Fourty-six? (speed limit was 25)
Me: Look for yourself.
Officer: *sees the flashing 46* Alright, Let's get 'em then.. *turns on headlights, shifts to drive, catches up*
Me: Dispatch 208, 10-26.
Dis: 206 Go Ahead.
Me: *calls in traffic stop*
(car stops, Officer and I contact driver who is a 22 year old HOT college chick, we get her license/registration/insurance, which all checks out to be what we call in the business "valid and clear" (Valid license, clear of warrants))
(Officer and I walk back up)
Me: Well. We have good news and bad news.
Girl: *half crying* What?
Officer: Good news is that were not writing you a ticket today for going twenty two over.
Girl: Oh my god, thank you so much...
Officer: Bad news is my partner here is taking you to jail for reckless driving
Girl: Are you kidding me!? *starts freaking out*
Officer: I'm Just kidding... See you later, slow it down and drive safe!
Girl: You guys suck *laughing*
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Frederick on November 14, 2009, 11:11:10 am
Rory, now that's what I like to see.  Officers who can have fun on the job, and drivers who can understand.  ;)
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: JDC on November 14, 2009, 13:00:03 pm
Real Life Situation that happened with me and an officer I was with, who we will call "Officer"

Me: *holding radar gun* 46.
Officer: Fourty-six? (speed limit was 25)
Me: Look for yourself.
Officer: *sees the flashing 46* Alright, Let's get 'em then.. *turns on headlights, shifts to drive, catches up*
Me: Dispatch 208, 10-26.
Dis: 206 Go Ahead.
Me: *calls in traffic stop*
(car stops, Officer and I contact driver who is a 22 year old HOT college chick, we get her license/registration/insurance, which all checks out to be what we call in the business "valid and clear" (Valid license, clear of warrants))
(Officer and I walk back up)
Me: Well. We have good news and bad news.
Girl: *half crying* What?
Officer: Good news is that were not writing you a ticket today for going twenty two over.
Girl: Oh my god, thank you so much...
Officer: Bad news is my partner here is taking you to jail for reckless driving
Girl: Are you kidding me!? *starts freaking out*
Officer: I'm Just kidding... See you later, slow it down and drive safe!
Girl: You guys suck *laughing*

:rofl:
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Thomas_Crof on November 14, 2009, 13:56:11 pm
I'd say PWNT!
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: [R*]Drix on November 14, 2009, 20:51:13 pm
Drix: Taxiii for my Malcolm
Malcolm : Duh...

(http://i35.tinypic.com/n5fmnt.jpg)


[Rstar]Pancher : I aint talking at you
Drix : Ohh common...
(http://i37.tinypic.com/de8aic.jpg)



ohh and..

SWAT RANK CANT BELIVE IT!!

Omai.. -.-
(http://i38.tinypic.com/1z4gw1u.png)
You culdent imagine, how happy i were there. but Puff noany swat drix :(
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: JDC on November 21, 2009, 03:28:06 am
Got a Ingame one..

(http://i487.photobucket.com/albums/rr233/Caltson/sa-mp-031.png)

Didn't knew JDC was such a.. Love cop?

Oh indeed I was :D
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Bert on November 22, 2009, 01:46:07 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4CkjNwpqRKo&feature=channel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdy3JKr2hbc&feature=related
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Frederick on November 22, 2009, 12:28:47 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdy3JKr2hbc&feature=related

You have got to be kidding me.  :lol:
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Bert on November 22, 2009, 13:09:26 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_UWFzIkeBE&feature=related  NFS, GTA get away style
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Janar on November 22, 2009, 13:27:31 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_UWFzIkeBE&feature=related  NFS, GTA get away style

WOW, 4 times getting PIT'ed
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Frederick on November 22, 2009, 21:52:53 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_UWFzIkeBE&feature=related  NFS, GTA get away style

WOW, 4 times getting PIT'ed

Yeah, that's an old video.  I remember how amazed I was when I first saw it.
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Janar on November 23, 2009, 15:23:28 pm
Shawn, the original joke is actually where it's a female.  Also, here's the video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AnvIvLrCoI) if anyone's interested.

Took a look on it again.
That girl reminds me some actor/actress(correct?)
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Frederick on November 23, 2009, 21:12:24 pm
Took a look on it again.
That girl reminds me some actor/actress(correct?)

Can't really help you there.  First of all, I barely know actors, considering I don't watch TV that much and couldn't really care less.  ;)
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Jcstodds on November 27, 2009, 01:52:41 am
  All units be aware, the following information was disclosed by Argonath Government and Immigration:

(http://firstorigin.co.uk/argo/picto.php?username=[Rstar]Pancher)

To submit possible illegal immigrants visit http://firstorigin.co.uk/argo/


 
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Gregersen on November 27, 2009, 07:48:19 am
Ehm, Jcs, everybody can sign up there and edit their rank :ii

(http://firstorigin.co.uk/argo/picto.php?username=[rstar]cbfasi)
(http://firstorigin.co.uk/argo/picto.php?username=[ws]Gregersen)
(http://firstorigin.co.uk/argo/picto.php?username=[ws]hyper)
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Jcstodds on November 27, 2009, 09:19:28 am
Haha yeah that's warrens fault. Feel free to mess about with it I guess  :lol:
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: battle on November 27, 2009, 10:20:17 am
Haha yeah that's warrens fault. Feel free to mess about with it I guess  :lol:

:D Jc you and your mexican immigrants! :D
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Bert on November 28, 2009, 11:43:10 am
Why aren't we allowed to drive over suspects? They do it IRL http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Lhn7rkOn8Q&feature=related
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Frederick on November 28, 2009, 12:08:51 pm
Why aren't we allowed to drive over suspects? They do it IRL http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Lhn7rkOn8Q&feature=related

Kind of reminds me of this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9DR4yz7Q0Y) video.
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Sarah Pallory 'Jones' on November 29, 2009, 11:32:13 am
rofl  :rofl:
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Cruel Cooking Chef Curry Alterlis on November 30, 2009, 13:52:36 pm
omfg O_O
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: jemerson on November 30, 2009, 14:23:04 pm
I have always been a fan of hitting suspects with my car, I don't run them over, backover them, and car kill them. In my mind there is a big difference.
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Shawn Edwards on December 09, 2009, 22:26:17 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsCuurneZVE&feature=related
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Frederick on December 10, 2009, 11:55:20 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsCuurneZVE&feature=related

I think this was already posted.  Or maybe it was on another forum, can't remember.  ;)
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Pepper on December 10, 2009, 23:14:35 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eSySq2KFU0&feature=related
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Frederick on December 12, 2009, 11:53:19 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eSySq2KFU0&feature=related

:lol:  I loved the end.
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Jcstodds on December 13, 2009, 01:06:43 am


Although unrelated to cops: This guy has DPD driving skills:
(http://www.japanator.com/elephant//ul/12682-/truck-crash-620x.jpg)
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Janar on December 13, 2009, 09:24:43 am
Although unrelated to cops: This guy has DPD driving skills:
[image]

LOOL
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Luke Hayes on December 13, 2009, 15:23:35 pm


Although unrelated to cops: This guy has DPD driving skills:
(http://www.japanator.com/elephant//ul/12682-/truck-crash-620x.jpg)


Correct..... LOL  :lol:
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Shawn Edwards on December 13, 2009, 20:20:13 pm


Although unrelated to cops: This guy has DPD driving skills:
(http://www.japanator.com/elephant//ul/12682-/truck-crash-620x.jpg)


LMFAO This is the SF Tunnel by San Fierro Airport!  :lol:
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Janar on December 13, 2009, 20:25:31 pm
I think, that this guy actually tried to block the road by dumping his cargo there, but he failed.
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Worldlife on December 13, 2009, 23:05:52 pm
aww cant see that DPD picture.. anyone know why? :(
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Frederick on December 14, 2009, 02:48:01 am
aww cant see that DPD picture.. anyone know why? :(

I can't either, and it's probably due to one of multiple possible reasons.  Such as the bandwidth for that image being exceeded.
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Worldlife on December 14, 2009, 06:03:38 am
to me its a red X in a box
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Jcstodds on December 14, 2009, 12:35:03 pm
Here guys I found the original source of the picture:
http://www.japanprobe.com/2009/12/09/trucks-collide-near-tunnel-entrance/


(http://www.japanprobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/truck-crash.jpg)


They even made simulation and diagrams xD
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Jcstodds on January 15, 2010, 10:23:49 am
(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/epic-fail-swat-fail.jpg)
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: JDC on January 15, 2010, 13:34:29 pm
(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/epic-fail-swat-fail.jpg)

Fail indeed :lol:
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Hiroaki on January 15, 2010, 14:16:32 pm
Here guys I found the original source of the picture:
http://www.japanprobe.com/2009/12/09/trucks-collide-near-tunnel-entrance/


(http://www.japanprobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/truck-crash.jpg)


They even made simulation and diagrams xD
ohh..japanese one,i saw that on news before
This is actual...
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Bert on January 15, 2010, 14:31:54 pm
(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/epic-fail-swat-fail.jpg)
What if he hadn't his panties on  :lol:
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: James_Hunter on January 15, 2010, 15:41:26 pm
(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/epic-fail-swat-fail.jpg)

LOL - It's Vincent_Vice from Argonath's S.W.A.T team!
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Oliver Daniels on January 15, 2010, 15:43:50 pm
(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/epic-fail-swat-fail.jpg)

LOL - It's Vincent_Vice from Argonath's S.W.A.T team!

But Vince doesn't wear underpants :roll:


Edit: " How would you know? "
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: [R*]Austin on January 15, 2010, 16:01:21 pm
Here guys I found the original source of the picture:
http://www.japanprobe.com/2009/12/09/trucks-collide-near-tunnel-entrance/


(http://www.japanprobe.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/truck-crash.jpg)


They even made simulation and diagrams xD

This is Vince trying to make a roadblock  :rofl:  :app:
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: jemerson on January 15, 2010, 16:02:24 pm
Everything Vince does results in some type of death and or injury.
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: [R*]Austin on January 15, 2010, 16:20:07 pm
Everything Vince does results in...

Failure  :D
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Oliver Daniels on January 15, 2010, 20:05:23 pm
Everything Vince does results in...

Failure  :D

And lulz for the other parties :D
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: JDC on January 16, 2010, 05:43:30 am
Everything Vince does results in some type of death and or injury.

I think there was that time when several SAPD and FBI came down with cholera- who let Vince into the ARPD Bar Kitchen?
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Anthony Chicane on January 18, 2010, 09:51:29 am
Sorry there was that one night where i was Cooking Panckaes and Vince sorta Ran in the Back and Yer.....
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Frednox on January 28, 2010, 07:40:02 am
ROFL at the FAIL one that would suck lol
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Oliver Daniels on January 28, 2010, 08:25:47 am
(http://i50.tinypic.com/2mdm0kp.jpg)
Twenty: STOP FBI FREEZE!
Bert: Oh no you di'nt.

(http://i49.tinypic.com/4q05xc.jpg)
Xavas is doing his morning stretches.

(http://i48.tinypic.com/2ivlhxw.jpg)
Even the captain hates black people.

(http://i46.tinypic.com/ny7cc5.jpg)
James has perfect balance.

(http://i48.tinypic.com/fxgm1k.jpg)
Pissfight in Pancher's office!

(http://i47.tinypic.com/2wn43mg.jpg)
I made a little oopise.

http://i47.tinypic.com/2rxjzgy.jpg
A typical evening in the SWAT HQ.

(http://i50.tinypic.com/2qkku0x.jpg)
Why do criminals drive in front of LSPd anyway?

(http://i49.tinypic.com/wwjek9.jpg)
self-explanatory

(http://i45.tinypic.com/6j341l.jpg)
Faggio cops!

(http://i49.tinypic.com/fth3mc.jpg)
Vince shouting at the wall..... Again.
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: [R*]Austin on January 28, 2010, 09:04:19 am
VINCE SHOUTING AT THE WALL  :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :app: :app: :app: :idea:
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: [R*]Drix on January 28, 2010, 09:39:10 am
lol !!!!!

and also the Faggio cops  :rofl:
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Mahome on January 28, 2010, 15:44:00 pm
Oh Noes!! I am on the picture!!! Psss hide it!!! Ok sirsirtsir pls ok i just... um.... tried to correctz ze fl00rz
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Oliver Daniels on January 28, 2010, 21:38:39 pm
Oh Noes!! I am on the picture!!! Psss hide it!!! Ok sirsirtsir pls ok i just... um.... tried to correctz ze fl00rz
With your M4?   :omg:
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Hiroaki on February 22, 2010, 16:57:51 pm
idk already posted or any
(http://poetry.rotten.com/donutland/donutland.jpg)
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Janar on February 22, 2010, 17:42:09 pm
LOL
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Salmonella on February 22, 2010, 18:35:19 pm
Great Picture Japan
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: JRockie on February 22, 2010, 21:42:14 pm
Hahahah  :lol: :lol:
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Dakota_11 on March 20, 2010, 23:59:01 pm
idk already posted or any
(http://poetry.rotten.com/donutland/donutland.jpg)
Cops at Donutland!!!
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Joseph_Allen on April 03, 2010, 16:53:52 pm
What we do when a mission fails

(http://i37.tinypic.com/309h2j4.jpg)

I do that ALL the time, especially when weird stuff happens...
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Niko on May 06, 2010, 21:00:22 pm
Some funny police quotes.

"Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

"Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

"Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey do-do."

"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife will get a toaster oven."

"In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

"Just how big were those two beers?"

"No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

"I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.

[size=100pt]Now for a police story [/size]
A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in Lake Taupo. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read.

One morning, the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book.

Along comes a fishing warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")

"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am", and he left.

Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Alan Demarest on May 06, 2010, 21:54:20 pm


I'm definately going to start using some of those..  :D
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: battle on May 07, 2010, 10:24:54 am
LOL Niko those stories are WIN!  :rofl:
Title: Re: Funny cop pics/video/jokes
Post by: Joseph_Allen on May 07, 2010, 19:33:37 pm


Although unrelated to cops: This guy has DPD driving skills:
(http://www.japanator.com/elephant//ul/12682-/truck-crash-620x.jpg)


Are you sure that's not FBI/ Twenty's driving skills?

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