/me Grabs a pen and a piece of paper.
/me Begins writing a story, and apology to the ARPD.
Dear, SAPD.
I guess I should make a sincere apology to all of you, due to the fact that I've lost some trust in several members including several friends. Things seemed to have gone downhill with me, ever since I got terminated from SASD and turned my life to a different chapter in the book, being associated with one of the most powerful SF Mafias - Gvardia, might have looked bad on my record. And then once I joined I gained interest in Argonath Express, and wanted to do an article on SFPD, asking Semi-Personal questions to the PD and other things to that nature. Where I started questioning my existence in the SAPD once I got shot down from my own Captain, saying I was to have a Sergeant around at all times while asking mostly Non-Harmful questions that wouldn't even leak information to Gvardia, seeing as the questions werent even relevant to the things Gvardia might even want to know.
I know, as being apart of Gvardia, and that you, even I have seen the harder days of their times, would have thought I would have been another one of the Cop-Hunting, DMers that would shoot you at a traffic stop, laugh in your face, drive towards the Gvardia HQ where everybody else was, and start a big Shoot-Out. But I have shown several of the SAPD Officers+, that that was never the case. I showed myself as the same person I used to be, even when I was in SAPD.
I thought I have proven myself as a rather astonishing person, to not go around shooting at cops without a given reason. And being as I am apart of the biggest mafia -not in size but in combat- to ever stand, that things would fall from beneath the cracks and I would turn into one of them completely. As I have proven that to not be the case - because there has been several shoot-outs in the time of my being in Gvardia, one week to be percise, and I have only participated in one shoot out. I have not shown a lack in my roleplay, as I've always overshot myself and shown to be a better person than most of the people running around with the _Gvardia tag on.
I know, in the past I've shown myself to be a great cop - not giving myself 100% qualified credit, all though only yourself can make you the best in everything you set out to do. I've qualified to prove myself to the community that no matter what I did, or where I did anything, I was and will always have been the best cop that someone could look to for suffiecient help. And as a Gvardia member, I still attempt to make myself be the best person their is too look forward to seeing.
But, as many know, I have been distrusted by the people of SFPD -some- and I have supposedly shown myself as someone who has to have a 24/7 watch. Before, when I was a cop, there were never cops around Gvardia HQ 24/7 - including all SFPD officers, not just the 'subgroup' of SASD. Once I joined Gvardia, there were cops 24/7 around the HQ attempting even the slightest interaction with Gvardia - mainly me. Everybody thought, that once I joined Gvardia I was going to spill my heart out to either SFPD about Gvardia's secret plans, or to Gvardia about SFPDs secret plans. But based off of that, I can tell you two things; 1) Gvardia has NO secrets to hide, to my knowledge, I am a Rookie Mobster, I know nothing about Gvardia - in a knowledgable way of putting things, and 2) SFPD has NO secrets to hide that weren't already slandered about on the Mainchat of Argonath.
I have been put into a horrible perdicament, knowing as I've joined Gvardia, I would have been disliked, hated or even just not wanted. But what I never expected was true friends, or at least of what I thought were true friends, would have turned their backs on me, and practically stabbed me in the back and told me to leave and never come back practically. I would have expected better from the people that were Sergeants and up, that I at least once thought were friends I could have counted on to be their in times of need and despair, but then again, I was wrong because I was thrown out the door and told to not stay here anymore. And then I was fired for a completely wrong statement - "Lack of Interest" - Yes, I may have gotten slightly bored of being a 24/7 cop on the server, hell who doesn't?
I thought, from what I've heard about Argonath, that several RP characters were allowed within an unimaginable limit - FBI not included due to they cant go off duty and be a criminal, etc. etc. I thought, why can't I be more than one person in a different Roleplay mind, without having to make three and four accounts to be different people at a time. "ArgonathRPG - A world of its own." Means a little more than having one person, as the same character, doing the same thing everyday. Breaking out of the shell, i thought was never a bad thing, but apparently it was. At this current time, if I were still apart of the SAPD, I'd have three RP characters in total - A Emergency Unit, A Mobster/Criminal and a Journalist/Report.
Emergency Unit(mainly cop): Putting a stop to criminal activity when the time is needed, such as in a heavy situation, traffic stop, and or other involuntary actions that the criminal underworld provides for us to take part in.
Mobster/Criminal: Being on the other end of the stick from the cops perspective. Being the one who is giving the Roleplayed scenarios to the cop, so they can solve the crime and give who ever did it the time to pay.
Journalist/Reporter: Being the person on the sidelines as a informant for the people who don't get to view what goes on as the Criminal Underworld prepares the scenarios, and the cops prepare themselves for whats to come.
Those were my perspectives on my three ideal RP characters, and I always wanted to keep it that way. Seperate from each individual character itself. When I'm doing my journalism reports and stuff - Never in the same CB Channel as my Mafia Friends, and never suspected. When I'm doing my Mobster/Criminal life - In the same CB Channel as my mafia friends and hardly ever suspected. When I'm doing my Emergency Unit life - In the same CB Channel as my other co-workers(SFPD), of course never a suspect and working hard to save the day.
Those were my RP characters explained in a full paragraph(might be two), but as I've heard from several people outside the lines of 'True Cop' work, "They only suspect you're doing something wrong because of the _Gvardia tag you wear and cherish." But you know what, I have two tags =AV= and _Gvardia. =AV= is the Elite Veteran Roleplayers of Argonath, I've been in Argo almost a year, and I have yet to be called a bad RPer or done anything to break a rule - except flame or get to angry; and capslock<3. _Gvardia, is practically a spare time get together do what I do freeforall have fun and screw up(sometimes) name that keeps my paitence underway, cause I know if I get pissed I have one of the best damn cars in SA and I can go about, drive around, relax and still come back to something I love at the end of the day.
Things may seem bad, with the name, the attitude and everything else that has changed about me, but I can assure you my characters do not, will not, will never get mixed up between each other. I will, and have tried my hardest to keep everything a solid line of work, but have failed professionally to keep things up, and above my head. I for one thought I proved myself worthy enough, as being apart of the SAPD for well over 6 months. I thought that I would have gotten far - but not to far - in the line of duty, that I would be proud of myself. But as time rolled on, things got harder. I got bored, and I was determined that things weren't the same anymore.
Yes, I have said some horrible things towards ARPD, such as they're sexist - because it seemed that way at once when things were against me and things had to crash on my parade. I've said some things to some people that shouldn't have been said, even if I was joking with them, I still shouldn't have said it though. I admit that I've messed up every now and again, orders I don't normally follow, reasons behind the non-following of orders were simple - I was all about SASD, and didn't give two shits less if I had something to do with SAPD, and I shouldn't have been that way. I should have put SAPD before SASD, and I didn't. In the end, I was left with myself, no SASD, and no SAPD because of my selfish feelings, my hate towards a few people, and my respect towards people that sometimes don't deserve the respect I give them.
I've put people through tough times, and I apologize sincerly. I've wasted several peoples times, due to the fact that I thought I was better than them, when that was never the case. I've put people on a trial to tribulation of several ongoing, never ending events, that eventually in the end ruined my life, and not theirs because they've shown up to be better than me in the end. But, through and through with it all, I've been scornfully abused, attacked and hurt by some of the things said to me in the time I've been serving in the ARPD as well.
The whole scenario of "Good Cop, Bad Cop" never played a part in my head, because I always wanted to be the good cop that helped everybody, I started a program for Freecops Cadets and even Civilians, so that they could get the feel of how SAPD worked, and along with that program, I used it for selfish greed to recruit people into joining a group, that where nobody hardly ever wanted me at that same exact time. After some time, I realized to stop it and I gave up the program giving it to someone who knew what they were doing. I intriged myself into doing other things, yet again. Patrolling, and learning how to drive properly (without smashing into every wall -.-), and I somewhat succeeded in my research of wall seeking and patrolling, but there was something always missing; A bad girl side.
My bad girl side was, and has always been with a Mafia type Roleplay - with Gvardia I got that - but I didn't expect joining one roleplay I liked, would ruin the other roleplays I liked as well. Being a cop, no doubt is the BEST thing in the world. And with being Gvardia, SAPD, and Argonath Express, I got three of the best Roleplay scenarios ever to be introduced to me, until SAPD was taken away from me, then Argonath Express was thrown on the line due to players lying about what I've been using my journalism reports for, Gvardia didn't move.
All in all, I want to make a sincere apology and also show at the same time, that I am not what you try to make me be. I am not the DeathMatching Cop-Hunting person that everybody thinks I should be, because thats not the case. You can go around, and ask SEVERAL people, how many times I've been truthfully suspected because of MY wrong doings. There is VERY VERY few times I've been suspected for actually doing something, and also VERY VERY few times I've been suspected for NOT doing something, and ended up getting unsuspected because of that. I've shown myself very worthy of my alterego, to not ruin my reputation, and continue the upbeat, non-torturess person I've been made out to be.
Again, I'm sorry that I've gave people the wrong impression about me, but I will not change my Roleplay, and I will not become another person that I haven't been all along. I will never be someone I can't preform, to be completely honest I suck at shooting in big combats ;), so there really shouldn't be no worry about me getting into trouble from that. I don't snitch, so thats practically saying I won't give personal information to Gvardia - why would I? They don't need it, and the only thing that is worthy to Gvarida is drug spots...But they already know that stuff.
Signed,
Sarah M. Patterson
Ex-SAPD Officer
/me Signs the note and sends it to the Main Headquarters of policing.
/me Makes copies and posts it in all of the police departments