Accessing file Juliet 2-4-0-3-1-1
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SAPD Press Release:
Date: 24th of March 2011
Officer in charge: Officer Marco Lopez
Codename: A Huge Dump
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LSPD recieved many concerning 911 calls at around 12:32 PM on the 24th of March. Many of the phone calls came from infuriated soccer moms, clearly stressed about the fact that someone had defacated all over the pavement on the corner of Idlewood Drive and Jefferson Street, by the local Pizza Stack. The nearest police patrol arrived on scene three minutes after the first 911 call - at first thought to be a prank pulled by a group of local delinquents known as Inferno Nine - and looked upon the pile of human feces with absolute disgust. Luckily, cadet Charlie McNathan was there to save the day by (under the orders of the officer in charge) cleaning up the mess. The DNA analysis has been inconclusive, but local hobo "The Truth" is suspected of having commited such a heinous act.
Post Scriptum: Forensics have attributed the fecal matter to a Vincent A. Vice, who is still at large.
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