Hey,
First of all, thank you for your reply and for considering the reinstatement request.
I understand some of the doubts you might have and why you have them. However, hopefully after I am done with my clarification and explanation those doubts will be gone.
What has changed since to change your mind? You said your interest for the game is no more. You've also said that the server is 'dead' in the past. The GTA V server is still running, so how are you going to spend time on more than 1 server? Are you capable of taking on such a role and balancing your time?
The lack of interest in the game at the time was due to spending really excessive amounts of time on it at times, especially when I was Chief. I think I had experienced burn out when it came to the game, and to be fair I still stand by my decision to resign from the position at the time. If you remember, you yourself have agreed with my decision, saying that "it's time".
I had put a lot of effort and time into VCPD at the time which has really taken its toll on me, and my interest in the server as a whole. I think I had a hard-time balancing my real life responsibilities and my position in the VCPD. This was also due to the added stress of having to graduate university, and juggle between finding enough time to study for Uni, to work, and to play.
Now when you are referring to my attempts to come back in the past (which were two, by the way), I think there were several reasons why they failed:
1) I really felt demotivated by being forced to sit on the officer rank. I never mentioned it that much, but I thought that I deserved to at least be put in a command rank after the effort I have put into the PD. I think that if you look at it through my eyes I believe you would understand why you would not feel as motivated anymore when a department that you have put your blood, soul and sweat for a year into decides that you are not trust-worthy enough to be reinstated to a Sergeant rank at least and keeps you as officer, as if the year of leadership and its accomplishments were not enough of proof that I can be trusted. I think that this was one of the bigger reasons why I ended up leaving the PD again. The stress of upcoming graduation and Bachelor's Degree defence was not helping either.
2) It was too soon to return. I needed a good break not only from Argonath, VCMP, and VCPD, but from gaming in general. I had not really gotten into any games too much afterwards and didn't play anything. I needed to get things in my own life in order (university studies, accommodation, work, etc etc.) before I could find motivation to play anything.
3) When I mentioned RAGE:MP and "losing interest in VCMP" at the time - I did not lie. At the time, for the reasons mentioned in points 1 and 2, I had "overexperienced VCMP". I felt like RAGE:MP might be that one game that might reignite my interest (which it did not, as I resigned from there too not long after) due to being a "newer and fresher" experience.
The GTA V server is still running, so how are you going to spend time on more than 1 server?
I no longer play RageMP and have not done so in a long time.
You've also said that the server is 'dead' in the past.
I have mentioned that the server is dead. To be precise, that Argonath is dead. And to be fair, at this time - it quite is. However, this is my attempt to actually do something about it rather than whine. My insistence on its "death" should not be mistaken for some attempt to crap on the server or the community. Instead, it was rather an attempt to get people to actually aknowledge so something can be done about it. I see that people do feel very strongly about such a word, however, so I decided to just take action instead. I want to "undead" it. Why I think this is one of the ways to do so I already explained several times before: an active police presence is necessary for people to be interested to play, as being challenged is one of the core aspects of the way our server is built, and it's tough to get challenged without police presence. For this reason, I do not think that me calling out the server, or rather the community, on being "dead" can be held against me in this case. I am still here after all.
However, you've also shown instability at times, and a likeness to drop everything and walk away when times get hard.
The instability in question was rather my lack of maturity at the time. We have to understand that a lot has changed since then. About four years have passed if I am not mistaken. My lifestyle has changed, my outlook has changed, my view and mentality towards a lot of things has changed as well, which I think has also changed me as a person to an extent. I settled in, finished University, found a place to live, have an office job and a part-time job in the army to blow off steam when needed - I feel "stable" in my own life now, which was something I lacked back then. I believe that this will reflect in my decisions here, too.
I do strongly disagree with the other half of the sentence. I have not walked away when times got hard. My entire VCPD career was built on doing the exact opposite: I joined a department whose own chief was no longer motivated to play and the PD was experiencing lack of activity. I took it into my own hands to actually do something about it, to take the lead and to spark people's interest in playing as VCPD again. Not shying away from hard times was exactly what got me as Chief in the first place.
When I finally resigned as the Chief of Police, I had given Kessu and Dani (Deputy Chief at the time) like a few months notice, and told them this was coming once I think that the department is stable enough for it. When I finally resigned, I left VCPD in
perfect shape. I cannot be held liable that the leaderships since were incapable of maintaining said state of the department. This is something people accuse me rather often on and it just rubs me the wrong way. I made sure to have everything in order before I left, the server management, and the command staff knew it was coming months before I actually did it. For this reason, I cannot agree that I have tendency to drop everything and walk away. I walked away because I wanted to rest, and I walked away when times were better than ever before.
Instability is not what we would want here again, the PD needs stability and strength, especially within the High Command. Recent history has not been kind to VCPD, with corruption and other problems.
And yet, despite the quirks with my personality and whatever flaws I might have, I would dare to say that VCPD was the most stable under my leadership than it was ever since. I am confident that now with those quirks more or less ironed out, I can make it better than ever before.
I have a plan drafted already for how I can start to get VCPD back up on its feet, and I am ready to cooperate with Kowalski and the FBI to make it happen.
All I need is to be given the ability to do my thing as I did before and I am very confident the results will speak for themselves.
Are you capable of taking on such a role and balancing your time?
As previously mentioned, I have finished my studies, am done with most of the struggles of early adulthood and have enough time for my hobbies, one of them being video games. That will no longer be a problem.
Ofcourse, you cannot expect me to play everysingle day of the week like I used to before, as that will only lead to burnout, but I will be able to maintain stable activity.
As a final note, I would also like to appeal that I think despite the shortcomings I might have had, or maybe still have, most people will remember my time as a Chief rather fondly, despite trying to pull my leg about it from time to time. It was one of the better times for the server, one that represented
stability and stable activity.
I hope I have argued my case.
Regards.
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